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Movie Magic
Two junior co-eds went to the movies one night. After 15 minutes passed, one gir

DrugtoMen
Men, please read this if you go to bars or clubs:
Guys, be more a

FreshmantoRemoval
OBJECTIVE
To disengage said bra without looking like an idiot.

Texan Poetry
The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists.

StonerTrip
A stoner walks into a gas station and asks the dude at the counter, "Got an

HowWriteCollege Paper
1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of f

TopWaysFreakYour Roommate
10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one

Counting Condoms
A boy goes to the drug store with his dad and sees the condom display.

Legendthe Maidens
An Auburn student spent a holiday in New Mexico with Native Americans who told h

DietStress
Breakfast:
<ul> 1/2 grapefruit 1 slice whole wheat t

YoSoDriver's License
Yo mama is so fat that her driver's license says, "Picture continued o

BushTesty
Q: What did George W. Bush get on his S.A.T.'s?
A: Drool.

One-Armed Jock
An English professor told her students that there would be no excuse for not sho

Babe Watch
This guy is standing outside on his balcony on the 5th floor of his apartment wh

Chemistry,and Bonkistry
Introductory Chemistry at Duke has been taught for about a zillion years by Prof

WorsttoonFinals
10. See me after class.
9. Did you even read the material?
8

BreastMustache
A question had appeared in a student's medical examination which read: &quo

Summerfor Slackers
Fail a class? Drop one too many? Don't worry about it. In order to keep mon

SignsHaveHangover
You're convinced that chirping birds are Satan's pets. Tryi

Signsareloser
1. Your dog rather rub up against the wall than have you pet it.
2. Al

SignsShouldE-Mailers Anonymous
10) You wake up at 3 am to go to the bathroom, and check your e-mail on the way

Mouse Hole
This guy was having a problem with mice in his apartment. "Dude," he t

Pre-Med Upstart
As a pre-med student at Washington University in St. Louis, I had to take a diff

BadvsGirls
<ul> Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot. Bad girls ma

CollegeExam:Football Players
You Must Answer Two (2) or More Questions Correctly to Qualify.
1.

Jane'sMind
Jane was sitting in anatomy class on day when her teacher asked her a question.

IfToldTruth
OBJECTIVE
To sit in a cubicle and stare at a monitor for eight hours,

Blonde Alumna
What are the blonde's first words after 4 years of college?

Signswatchingmuch TV
The bumper sticker on your car reads: "What Would Dawson Do?"

YouBeRedneck...Senior Year
You might be a redneck if you consider the fifth grade your senior year!

Christian Drugs
Jesus was worried about the drug epidemic plaguing the world. In an effort to so

Creative Writing
A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containi

Lightbulb... Harvard
How many Harvard girls does it take to change a lightbulb?
It

Sex Contract
SEX CONTRACT
I, _______________________, hereby surrender all pos

ClemsonS.andCarolina
Three guys were captured in Iraq as American spies and were about to be executed

ProfessorDirty Jokes
There was an old professor who started every class with a vulgar joke. After one

Grasshopper Biology
A biology class student conducted an experiment on what would happen to a grassh

Studentoffpants
A student is taking his final exams. He takes his seat in the exam hall, stares

LightbulbLaw Professor
Q: How many law professors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: H

RandomofRoundup

Curators at India's Baroda Museum reported irreparable damage

OutCollege

You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

AmsterdamAbroad
Possible Courses:
ESSENTIALS OF BONG DESIGN: Discover earth, water,

BubbaTinyon Probation
Two football players, Bubba and Tiny, were taking an important exam. If they fai

Psychology Class
A college psychology class was studing human reaction to sexual stimulus and of

SignsBeenToo Much
1. With a little effort, you could pull the bags under your eyes over your head.

HowYour Roommate
1. Blast the Phantom of the Opera at midnight and sign along with it at the top

Scaryof College
You know you're in trouble when...
1. The McDonald's peo

Shree Hill
The teacher was checking her student roster on the first day of school and saw t

Harvard Graduate
How do you get a Harvard graduate off your porch?
Pay him fo

Twoprofessorsvacationing
Two retired professors were vacationing with their wives at a hotel in the Catsk

Sexclass
The wealthy, high-society mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her da

10ThatKidA Nerd
10. Likes people that oppress him: teachers, parents, principals, police, and a

Harvard Lightbulb
How many Harvard men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Blonde's Finals
A blonde walked into her final exam very nervous. But when she received the test

USCL8R
Why don't people from the University of Southern California celebrate Chris

GeometryBaby
What was the geometry student looking for at the beach?
A tange

Fratboy
What do you call a fratboy in a suit?
The defendant.

Oncewasblondewantedprove ...
Once there was a blonde who wanted to prove to people that she wasn't just

Whatthesay...
What did the blonde say after college?
"Will that be paper or

Job Fair
A jock and a geek applying for the same job.
The boss said, "Boys

Cereal Killer
Q: What is the difference between Cheerios and Georgia Tech?
A: Che

Trash talking
Q: What do you call 40 guys watching the Super Bowl?
A: The Chicago

Math Sucks
Q: Why is the math book always upset?
A: Because it has a lot of pr

DumbRocks
Q: What do rocks and boobs have in common?
A: If they're flat,

Question and answer animal jokes
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To show the armadillo that it w

Purchasing a new bird
After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became c

They're boasting about race records
Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his tra

A frog calls a psychic
Recently, the Psychic Hotline and Psychic Friends Network have launched hotlines

A guide to walking tigers
Tigers really are as big and poofy and soft as they look, and they purr like a

These chickens want books
A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say,

A very insulting parrot
This elderly lady, recently widowed, decides to see if a pet will ease her lonel

A snail buys a fast new car
There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slo

A good chess player
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his d

Three very tough mice
Three rats are sitting at the bar talking bragging about their bravery and tough

Steven Wright on dogs
The other day, I was walking my dog around my building...on the ledge. Some peo

Worries about mad cow disease
There were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields.

The story of the bats
Two vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood. One say

Never talk to the parrot
Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He could

I'll use my seeing eye dog
A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The ma

You could feed them a lot faster
There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during thi

There was just a dog fight
A man walks into a bar one day and asks, "Does anyone here own that rottwei

He is a very smart dog
I went to the cinema the other day and in the front row was an old man and with

A game of animal football
The animals were bored. Finally, the lion had an idea. "I know a really e

A cat's dictionary
Purring: Sound of a cat manufacturing cuteness.

Purrverse: Poem

Two fools are about to go flying
Two morons stand on a cliff with their arms outstretched. One has some budgies

The amazing flying dog
A woman is out looking for a pet, and so she's trying the local pet shops.

The plumber has arrived
A lady was expecting the plumber; he was supposed to come at ten o'clock. T

The cat's chalkboard assignments
In order to punish your cat for poor behavior, here are a list of items that the

The preacher buys a parrot
A preacher is buying a parrot.

"Are you sure it doesn't s

A burglar is in big trouble
A burglar has just made it into the house he's intending ransacking, and he

An amazing talking dog
A man and his dog walk into a bar. The man proclaims, "I'll bet you a

Baby bear wants to live somewhere else
The three bears had been having some trouble recently and had ended up in family

A human's chalkboard assignments
This list of chalkboard assignments may be used for your human when he does not

Instrument flying guide for animal lovers
Having detailed the concept of attitude control, there is another method which y

Two roaches having a discussion
Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion a

This is one smart dog
A butcher is leaning on the counter toward the close of day when a dog with a ba

A dog's chalkboard assignments
This list of chalkboard assignments may be used for your dog when he does not be

I think that I'm a chicken
Psychiatrist: What's your problem?

Patient: I think I'

This dog is acting bad
While waiting for a bus, the blind man's dog decided to go to the bathroom

Cat technical support problems
This is an actual account by a worker at a technical support and service center.

Investigating a terrible accident
There was a terrible bus accident. Unfortunately, no one survived the accident

Question and answer animal jokes
Q: Why did the turtle cross the road?
A: To get to the Shell station!

Question and answer animal jokes
Q: Why do hummingbirds hum?
A: Because they don't know the words.

Question and answer animal jokes
Q: Diner: I can't eat this chicken. Call the manager.
A: Waiter: It

Question and answer animal jokes
Q: What has four legs and an arm?
A: A happy pit bull.

Q:

Question and answer animal jokes
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?
A: Holes a

Top 9 Signs Your Cat Has Learned Your Internet Password
9. E-mail flames from some guy named "Fluffy."

8. Traces

Nine things dogs don't understand
1. It's not a laugh to practice barking at 3a.m.

2. It's

Buy alligator shoes
A man was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana, where he tried to buy some Alli

Cow on train tracks
A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A pass

Two angry neighbors
Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades. Bob buys a

Ten Signs That You're At A Bad Zoo
1. When no one else is looking, you swear that the monkeys are mocking you.

Sounds of the Wild
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter.

Giving Cats Pills
INSTRUCTIONS FOR GIVING YOUR CAT A PILL 1. Pick cat up and

Feline Physics Laws
Law of Cat Inertia A cat at rest will tend to remain at

The Feline Diet
Most diets fail because we are still thinking and eating like people. For those

Dogs and Light Bulbs
How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? Border

Dog Property Rules
1. If I like it, it's mine. 2. If its in my mouth, it

Horses at the Race
A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse&

Installing a Carpet
A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out fo

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