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Programmer's drinking song
99 little bugs in the code,
99 bugs in the code,
Fix one bug, comp

The Apple explosion
OFFICE MEMO
Date: 1/18/96

SPINDLER CALLS IN AIR STRIKE, DE

If Dr. Seuss was a technical writer
What if Dr. Seuss was a technical writer? Here are several examples of what he m

You have an Internet addiction when . . .
You kiss your girlfriend's home page.

A VRML virtual walk thro

Microsoft versus GM
Microsoft vs. GM

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates rep

Caring for floppy disks
ORIGAMI
Art of paper folding. In order to obtain a nice and effectivene

User song and music
User
(To the tune of Beck's "Loser")

In the

Computer acronyms list
Humorous Computer-Related Acronyms

IBM

I Blame Micr

Customer support logs
Actual dialog of a former Customer Support employee:

Support: &quo

Actual calls to technical support
Computer novices may feel like they're alone these days, but some of the fo

Types of computer viruses
Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

A

Microsoft buys church
MICROSOFT Bids to Acquire Catholic Church

VATICAN CITY (AP) -- In

Car break trouble
A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Branch Manager were on their way

Night before Christmas
The Night Before Christmas

A festive holiday poem by Hugh Drumm &am

The Windows Rejection Song</h2> <h4>sung to the tune of The Rainbow Connection b

Internet highway blues
The Information Highway Blues

My baby's got my 486.

New product cuts stress
From "Machine Design" Magazine.

.....Byte Bat

Type what I tell you
While trying to diagnose a problem over the phone I told the user to type out hi

A collection of insults!
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someo

Types of computer viruses
Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

A

Bill Gates picks his own punishment
Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This

Would you define OCR?
OCR - Optical Character Recognition

A technology that can take writ

Top Ten Ways Y2K Will Affect Disney World
10. Accidental switch back to 19,000 Leagues Under the Sea.

9. Scre

Floppy disk care
By following the instructions below, you should have error-free, long-lasting fl

Is Windows a virus?
With the recent problems being encountered by Windows users all across the count

The problem is at your end
One of Microsoft's finest technicans was drafted and sent to boot camp. At

Some possible computer bumper stickers
1. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding

2. <-------

Mailing list users changing light bulbs
Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?<

Have a Microsoft Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house Not a creature

Diary of a computer lamer
July 18
I just tried to connect to America online, which I've hear

The Apple explosion
OFFICE MEMO
Date: 1/18/96

SPINDLER CALLS IN AIR STRIKE, DE

Error codes in Windows
WinErr 001: Windows loaded - System in danger WinErr 002: No Error - Yet Wi

The top ten signs that your co-worker is a computer hacker
10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000.

9

The 25 BBS Commandments
<OL> <LI> Thou shall love thy BBS with all thy heart and all thy by

The top ten reasons why the television is better than the World Wide Web
10. It doesn't take minutes to build the picture when you change TV channel

Car break trouble
A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Branch Manager were on their way

Alice is in UNIX land
"Can you help me? asked Alice.

"No," said Negative.

Husband 1.0
Last year a friend of mine upgraded from BoyFriend 1.0 to Husband 1.0 and found

Great news for Bill Gates
Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin, and Bill Gates were called in by God. God informed

Confusion about Y2K
Dear Boss,

I hope I haven't misunderstood your instructions. B

Software development cycle
1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.

2. Product is

Girlfriend 1.0 software
Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend 3.1 to GirlFriendPlus1.0 (marketing

Twas the night before crisis
Twas the night before crisis,
And all through the house,
Not a pro

Emacs acronyms
EMACS: Escape-Meta-Alt-Control-Shift
EMACS: Eight Megabytes And Constantl

Possible IBM acronyms
IBM: It's Being Mended
IBM: Inmense Ball of Muck
IBM: I Belie

Computer help stories
This article is from the Wall Street Journal, Tuesday, March 1, 1994: Befuddled

New Microsoft Windows advertising slogans
At the time of writing, Microsoft's slogan for Windows 95 was "Where d

The Ten Commandments for C Programmers
1. Thou shalt run lint frequently and study its pronouncements with care, for ve

Programming language acronyms
ADA: A Dumb Arrangement
ADA: A Dumb Acronym
ADA: A Dumb Annoyance<

If companies run Christmas
If IBM ran Christmas...
They would want one big Santa, dressed in blue,

Real opcodes
<pre> AAC Alter All Commands AAD Alter All Data AAO Add And Overflow A

The top ten signs that someone is using your e-mail account
10. "Honey, why is an 18-wheeler from Amazon.com backing into our driveway?

Programmer's drinking song
99 little bugs in the code,
99 bugs in the code,
Fix one bug, comp

The computer user's reboot poem
Don't you wish when life is bad
and things just don't compute,<

Actual calls to technical support
Computer novices may feel like they're alone these days, but some of the fo

Bill Gates can choose his punishment
Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over

Microsoft buys church
MICROSOFT Bids to Acquire Catholic Church

VATICAN CITY (AP) -- In

Real software engineers
Real software engineers eat quiche.

Real software engineers don�

Operating systems as beers
DOS Beer -- Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read

Solution to the Y2K problem
The government's system administration team, working with computer manufact

Computer lingo guide
Log on - Adding a log to your wood stove

Log off - Don't a

If Dr. Seuss was a technical writer
What if Dr. Seuss was a technical writer? Here are several examples of what he m

Top ten signs you bought a bad computer
10. Lower corner of screen has the words "Etch-a-sketch" on it.
<

Fifty ways to be annoying in computer labs
1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "

You have an Internet addiction when . . .
You kiss your girlfriend's home page.

A VRML virtual walk thro

The programmer's cheer
Shift to the left, shift to the right!
Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byt

I'm ignoring Y2K
Jack was a COBOL programmer in the mid to late 1990s. After years of being taken

Instructions for Microsoft's TV dinner
You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to accept and hon

There was life before the computer
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor

A list of redneck computer terms
Backup - What you do when you sight a skunk in the woods.

Bar co

I have a Microsoft waiter
Patron: Waiter!

Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be y

The technical geek test
Are you a tehcnical geek?

Do you have a problem with overdoing yo

A husband with a computer addiction
My Dear Husband,

I am sending you this letter via this BBS commun

Microsoft Panhandler v1.0 (Beta)
Redmond, WA -- Microsoft Corporation chair, CEO and all-around babe magnet Bill

Computer history of the world
In the beginning, God created the Bit and the Byte. And from those he created th

Password selection rules
CORPORATE DIRECTIVE NUMBER 88-570471

In order to increase the secur

Top ten indicators that a redneck has been working on your computer
10. The monitor is up on blocks.

9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco sta

Ten things Bill Gates would like to change about the automotive industry
10. New seats would require everyone to have the same body size.

9.

Abbott calling Costello
Costello calls Abbott with some questions about UNIX.

Costello: W

Microsoft runs the I.R.S.
If Microsoft Ran The IRS

"Government should be run like a bus

The Twelve Bugs of Christmas
For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

See if they

Microsoft renames itself
Newsflash

Microsoft today announced that it will be changing its na

Microsoft trademarks TM
Microsoft Trademarks the Trademark Symbol

By Vince Sabio HumourNet

Waiting on a long line
The checkout line at the hardware store was getting longer and longer as the cle

New product cuts stress
From "Machine Design" Magazine.

.....Byte Bat

Windows 98 hourly tweaks
11th-hour tweaks for Windows '98 by Microsoft

10. Included sub

A letter to the editors
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR (The Times of London)

Dear Sir,

The system crash song
<pre> SYSTEM CRASH (to the tune of "The Monster Mash") I wa

Question and answer
My sister opened a computer store in Hawaii.
She sells C shells by the se

Changing number terms
In a recent contest in The Washington Post, readers were asked to take an expres

Purchasing furniture
I work as a systems administrator, and part of m job involves answering question

Fixing broken computers
An office technician got a call from a user. The user told the tech that her com

I have a keyboard error
A person turned on the computer without a keyboard plugged in.

When

Type what I tell you
While trying to diagnose a problem over the phone I told the user to type out hi

Oh the Internet is slow
The Net is Slow

Oh, the network outside is frightful,
But on

Life cycle of software
The Life Cycle of Software

Programmer produces code he believes

Computer acronyms list
Humorous Computer-Related Acronyms

IBM

I Blame Micr

What movies teach us
COMPUTERS & ELECTRONICS:
As depicted in movies,

Word pro

Internet can get worse
Top ten ways the Internet could get worse

10. Rigorous user screeni

If Microsoft built cars
Top Ten ways things would be different if Microsoft built cars:

1.

Computer problem report
<pre> Computer Problem Report Form 1. Describe your problem: ________

Customer support logs
Actual dialog of a former Customer Support employee:

Support: &quo

Write your code in C
<pre> WRITE IN C (sung to The Beatles "Let it Be") When I f

Ode to spell checkers
<pre> ODE TO A SPELL CHECKER by Jerrold H Zar I have a spelling check

Computer used too long
You know you have been on the computer too long when...

When you ar

Graphics work too much
You've been in graphics too long if...
by Chris Thornborrow

Bought a bad computer
Top Ten Signs You Bought A Bad Computer

Lower corner of screen

Internet addictions
Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD)

As the incidence and prevalence o

Ethical software group
SEVEN SOFTWARE COMPANIES ADDED TO "WATCH LIST"

New York,

Internet highway blues
The Information Highway Blues

My baby's got my 486.

The computer prayer
Our Morning Prayer . . .

Our Hard Drive

Which art int

Surfing the Internet
Surfin' the Net
So I think I'm in the clear
the boss is

User song and music
User
(To the tune of Beck's "Loser")

In the

Night before Christmas
The Night Before Christmas

A festive holiday poem by Hugh Drumm &am

Gender and computers
Gender and Computers

Top nine reasons computers must be male:

Definition of Windows
Webster's Dictionary definition of Windows 95

Windows95: <w

The power of shifting
Unleash the Power of Shift!

Q: My shift keys have little arrows on

100 Buckets of Bits
100 Buckets of Bits
100 buckets of bits on the bus
100 buckets of

AOL addiction poem
My computer broke down.

It crashed and burned!

And f

Microsoft versus GM
Microsoft vs. GM

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates rep

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