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ThingsFallin' Off
This morning as I was buttoning my shirt, a button fell off. After that, I pi

Still Together
One man says, ''You mean they are still together after all that crap?&

Didhear....?
Did you hear about the man who drank 5 gallons of tea?
He drown

Caution:Crossing
Why'd the condom cross the road?
He got pissed off!

AVisitthe
A man and his wife went to the doctor's office and the doctor asked the man

MustardAStory
As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection. A thick slab of ham, a fresh bun, crisp

WatchYou Step
A guy walks into a store. He goes up to the clerk and holds up his hand. In hi

GrossTongue
What's grosser than gross?
Two Siamese twins connected at the ton

Latex Gloves
A dentist is talking to his patient about the sanitary problems some of his fell

TheThumb
This guy went into a restaurant and ordered his meal. When the waitress came out

Sonsto Mom
Three sons left home to make their fortunes, and they all did very, very well fo

TheOfBathroom
A little boy went to the bathroom at school, but when he went to wipe his bum,

QA...Shower
Q: Why do men take showers instead of baths?
A: Pissing in the bath

TheBoyz
How does Aunt Jemima turn on the Pilsbury Doughboy?
She squee

LittleGivesthe Sick
Little Johnny was in church with him mom for Sunday Mass when he suddenly fel

THE DRUNK
There was a man who would come home blind drunk every night and vomit in the bat

LikeInNight...
What is grosser than gross?
When a midget walks by and says y

TravellingJoke44892
A travelling salesman was out in the country one evening and wasn't sure ho

Baldy Pants
Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets?
So he could ru

ClosestEver
A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he m

Big Tongue
What do you call a lesbian with a big tongue?
Well hung.

Takingthe Garbage
Q: What is worse than ten dead people in one trashcan?
A: One d

80-Pounder
Did you hear about the 120-pound guy with the 60-pound testicles?

Hamburger Helper
What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?
Quarter Po

Corpsalicious!
One day a medical professor and his class were standing over a corpse and the pr

DefinitionSuspicious
What is the definition of suspicious?
A nun doing sit-ups in a

Dinner's Ready!
Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law.&quo

Mommy, Mommy!
"Mommy, Mommy! Where have all your scabs gone?"
"Shu

Socks
A young man and a young woman were soon to be married, but they both had a probl

Roadkill
You're so ugly, you look at roadkill and it runs away!

That'sReally
3 bums were outside a bar.The first one went in and asked for a fork.The secon

Booger Wooger
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids don&

YosoYeast
Yo mama's so smelly, she gets sourdough yeast iinfections.

Constipation
Why are contipated folks unkind and rude?
'Cause they don

Baby Drink
How do you make a baby drink?
Stick it in the blender.

Fat Woman
Once there was a man named BB. He had a very fat wife and for his 40th b-day sh

Chillingthe
What do eskimos get from sitting on a block of ice?
Polaroids!

FartingtheBeyond
Your fart's so loud, astronauts in space mistook your fart for a message fr

33 Wishes
Three men were trekking through the desert and came across a magician. The magic

Mommy,circles
What did the dad say when his son said, ''Dad I'm tired of walkin

Luke's Saga
What did Obi Wan say when Luke was constipated?
"Use the F-O

ATo Tide
Dear Tide,
I have always used your product ever since my colleg

Butt Question
If I cut off my right butt-cheek, will I be left behind?

Nailing Osama
What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree?
Feeding his l

PeeA Ferrari
One day, a guy walks out from a shop to see someone PISSING on his Ferrari.

Hiney Bubbles
What's gross?
Farting in the bathtub.
What's g

ANew Position
Husband: Shall we try a new positon tonight?
Wife: Sure. You stand

Trappeda Whale
What do you if you're trapped inside a whale?
Run '

You'rePoor!!!
You're so poor that when I came to your house and asked to use the washroom

Sharpera Ginsu
What is the sharpest thing in the world?
A Fart. It goes through y

Prune Pizza
What do you get when you eat a prune pizza?
Pizzeria!

What's Black?
Q: What's black and sits on the roof?
A: A paraplegic after a

TheMan
I see, said the blind man, peeing into the wind. It's all coming back to me

That'sBuncha Bull
A man was visiting Spain and passed by a restaurant in Madrid after a bullfight.

American Divorce
If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington are they still

Piano Solo
What's brown and on the piano bench?
Beethoven's last m

I'veShingles
How many blondes does it take to shingle a roof?
Depends on h

Blind
Do you know why blind people don't skydive?
It scares th

InterestingNot Normal
I have a green nose, three red mouths, and four purple ears. What am I?

Gross Grandma
What is grosser than gross?
When you're kissing Grandma an

Dolly's Kids
How can you pick out Dolly Parton's kids on the play ground?

TheWhoTooto Bury
Did you hear about the lawyer from Texas who was so big when he died that they c

Rump Roastin'
Q: What did the butcher say when he backed into the meat-grinder?

Bird-BrainedHelopisa
John went on vacation to Helopisa. As soon as he stepped outside, SPLAT!!! A bi

VeryZacklies
"Where did you get those zacklies?"
"Zacklies?"

BlackWhiteRedOver
What''s black, white, red all over, and doesn''t fit through

Cannibals
Two hungry cannibals are walking through the forest when they see a man who had

Scratchy Lottery
A couple walked into the supermarket. They looked confused, so a clerk walked up

Yo'So Greasy
Yo' face so greasy, if you had zits they'd fall off!

Jungle Gaiety
What do you call a sex-crazed gay cannibal?
A head hunter!

DeafDumb Kid
What did the deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas?
Cancer.

BrownServe
What's brown and in the military?
Gomer's pile!

CowNo Legs
Q: What do you call a cow with no legs.

A: Ground Beef!

Kleenex
How do you get a Kleenex to dance?
Put a little boogie in it!

TwoEasternersMoronic Lies
A Syrian guy walked into a cafe. He sees a Lebanese guy eating croissants and ja

PaintingWall
How many men does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you th

Vampiresa Bar
Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one says, ''I'll have a

Honda
A guy says, "Doc, you gotta help me. Every time I fart, it sounds like, &q

Snack Food
What did the mother vampire say to her daughter when she picked up a tampon?

Hot Dog
Guy walks into a restaurant. He sits down and this ugly waitress comes over. He

StraightFlush
Did you hear about the leper poker game?
One guy threw in his h

Dinnerthe Road
There were these two bums and they were hungry when they came across road kill.

The Leper
A man walks into a pub and sits down at a table. He notices a leper at the side

Gum
Why did God give women belly buttons?
For somewhere to stash your

ACannibalismFolks
Did you hear the one about the cannibal who passed his brother in the jungle the

Pointless
Why fart and waste when you can burp and taste?

ILikeBrother
Cannibal Son: Mom, I don't like my brother anymore!
Cannibal

TheOwlTheCat
In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sportscars.

Theof Flatulence
Why should you only put 239 beans in bean soup?
Cuz one more will

Snot
When you're neckin' with yer honey
And your nose is kinda run

FlyYi
Two flies were flying around a pile of poo and the first fly started sniffing ar

Stinkin' Proof
One day, an old lady went to the store to get some food for her dog.

Juicy Squirt
The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall.

IYou!
A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallo

Crab Cakes
Yo mama is so nasty, Red Lobster kicked her out for bringing her own crabs.

3 Vampires
There are these 3 vampires. The first vampire walks into a bar and says, "B

Definitely
Nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word 'Defin

AandBodily Fluids
One day a man walked in a bar with a box. He sat down, opened the box and out po

CloserGod
A 70-year-old man went to the doctor's for a physical. The doctor ran some

TypesPeopleMeeta Bathroom
EXCITABLE : Shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts

Awalksheroffice ...
A lady walks into her doctors office screaming.
She yells, "D

Dog Days
Three dogs are at the vet in the waiting room.
When the first dog a

MoreBaby Jokes
Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

Threewerea sauna...
Three men were in a sauna. An Italian, a German, and a Pollack.
Su

Thedifferenceyourand...
The only difference between your face and a bag of crap is the bag.

Yobreathso bad...
Yo mama's breath stink so bad when she burps, her teeth duck.

Star Dreck
Q: What did Spock find in the Enterprise's toilet?
A: The C

Whatpuppiesgynecologists...
Q: What do puppies and gynecologists have in common?
A: Wet noses

Twoandblonde...
Two brunettes and a blonde are attempting to fix a roof. While they are on the r

Milking it
A woman and a baby were in the doctora??s examining room, waiting for the doctor

Aatretirementwas...
A man at a retirement home was walking around with his zipper down holding his p

What'sthanzombie baby?
What's funnier than a zombie baby?
A zombie baby in a clown su

Whatyouawithdollar ...
Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on her head?
A: All you can

Holy Water
Three men go to a church and ask to be forgiven for their sins. The priest asks

Diddo that?
Three men are on a plane. The first one throws a dirt-clod out of the plane. Whe

Gold Digger
Yo mama is so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger popped out of George Washing

Yum!
Q: What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy falls over?
A: dough

Baby boomers
Q: What''s worse then finding 10 zombie babies in a garbage can?

ChipsDip
Q: How do you get a zombie baby into a bowl?
A: A blender.

TheWay Home
Two sperm are swimming in a women's body.

One sperm says to the

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