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TheWill Provide
Old Mrs. Watkins awoke one spring morning to find that the river had flooded the

God'sName
This guy dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, St. Peter is standing at t

Texas Sphincters
On the seventh day, God said, "Let there be football."

Peg-Leg Baldy
A bald man with a peg leg gets invited to a costume party. Being shy and self-c

HamSex
The priest and the rabbi were on a plane flying across the ocean when the plane

AAsksPriest
A man who smelled like a distillery flopped down on a subway seat next to a prie

Work Genesis
In the beginning was the Plan. And then came the Assumptions. And the As

Two Hookers
Two hookers were riding around town with a sign on top of their car that said, &

PsalmBush
Bush is my shepherd I shall not lie
He leadeth me beside the still far

Estrogen Rulz!
Why did God create man before woman?
He needed a rough draft

God's Creation
What is the best thing God ever created?
The vagina.

TopWaysBibleOutDate
10) Who the hell Begets anymore?

9) Memo to Adam: Ditch the app

Confessional Etiquette
The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks an older priest

Godon Blondes
Why did the blonde think it was Sunday?
Because the sun was out

GolfHeaven
God, Jesus and John the Baptist are playing golf up in heaven. On the first tee,

BlackBlack
What goes black, white, black, white, black, white, black, white?

Buckwheat
Buckwheat of the Little Rascals fame grew up, became a Muslim, and changed his n

Incredible Confession
The privacy partition in the confessional booth slides and an excited voice burs

JesustoArnold Palmer
Jesus and Moses went golfing. Jesus was about to hit a shot and said, "Hey

Heaven's Gate
You know about the 39 Heaven's Gate culters who killed themselves?

ThoughtsReligion
Q: Will I be reincarnated?
A: Not unless there is a special need to recre

JesusMoses
Jesus and Moses are walking along the beach when all of a sudden Moses shouts ou

The Confession
Joe enters the confessional and tells the priest that he has committed adultery

Beand Multiply
A dead-beat Dad died and went to Heaven. He was greeted at the Golden Gate by St

RainMoney
Why did God create economists?
To make weathermen look good!

Factory Girl
What's the definition of innocence?
A nun working in a cond

BrunettesGod
Why did God create brunettes?
So ugly men wouldn't be le

ThreeVisitonMountaintop
Three men heard rumors of a mountaintop where God came down to solve people'

Jewish Mother
A Jewish mother bought her son two pairs of socks for his birthday and, wishing

RecruitingaPope
Since Pope John Paul is getting up in age the Vatican has started an early campa

Pink Floyd
The three remaining members of Pink Floyd get in a car wreck and all three die.

MenSimple
Why did God invent a man first?
She wanted to start with somet

The Exorcist
"They call my husband 'The Exorcist.'"
"

Mom's Affair
There was this woman see, and she takes a lover during the day, while her husba

HowREALLY Knows!
You'd better watch out,
You'd better not cry,
You�

TheofCards
A woman walks into the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.

ForYouRockers
Pssst...
Even Jesus hates Creed.

PreacherHooky
A preacher woke up one Sunday morning and looked outside and saw it was a beaut

Ain time
A little girl got on her grandpa's lap and said, "Did God make me?&qu

God's Identity
One day a little boy asks his mom questions about God. He goes up to his mother

Theis Near
A priest and pastor from the local parishes are standing by the side of the road

Thefor Dummies
AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.
BULLETIN: 1. P

TheCommandment
During a recent staff meeting in Heaven, God, Moses, and Saint Peter concluded t

Don'tUnto Others
An Irish man with a crooked back walks into a coffee shop and sees Jesus sitting

Ablonde,stupidand...
A smart blonde, a stupid blonde and Santa Claus play poker, who wins?

Easter Blondies
Three blondes died and found themselves standing before St. Peter. He told them

BreakingLaw,the Law
A bank robber was running from the law. The police were on his tail and he had

AdaminGardenEden...
Adam was in the Garden of Eden feeling lonely when he decided to ask God a favor

E-vil
A woman arrives at the Pearly Gates and finds St. Peter is not there, but a comp

Didhearthedevil...
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
He sold his soul

GodJokes
A man climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai and gets close enough to talk to God. Look

HealWorld
A man dies and goes to Heaven. When he arrives he sees that there is a long lin

Amish paradise
Q: What is every Amish woman's fantasy?
A: Two menanite

Imyback ribs
God was talking to Adam one day when Adam begins to lament. "God I'm l

Lesser Evils
A nun at a Catholic school is asking her students what they want to be when they

Topreasonslike Hanukkah
10. No roof damage from reindeer
9. Never a silent night when you&#

MergerChristmasHanukkah
Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers and acquisitions, it was

WhyisThan Christmas
1. There''s no "Donny & Marie Hanukkah Special"

What are the pictures?
A young lad was visiting a church for the first time, checking all the announcem

Satan vists the church
One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Jonestown wakes up early

Do you go to church?
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was s

Hide him during a war
It was about a month ago when a man in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess,

Overcrowded church
The two thousand member Baptist church was filled to overflowing capacity one Su

Bloopers in the church
The following are actual church bulletin board bloopers found in churches across

A little girl wants to go
A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeli

Bloopers in the church
The following are actual church bulletin board bloopers found in churches across

Signs seen near church
The following are actual signs found on church property.

"No G

Church for this drunk
A man sobering up from the night before is sitting through the Sunday sermon, fi

What is it like to you?
Mortal: What is a million years like to you?

God: Like one second.

Why Eve was created
Top Ten Reasons Eve Was Created

10. God was worried that Adam would

Offer made to Adam
God looks down and notices that Adam is all alone while all the animals have com

Where have you been?
Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands. When Adam stayed out ve

A very faithful woman
An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for her boldness in talking abo

The blind man is here
A Nun was taking a shower one day and she heard the door bell ring, she yelled &

Nuns discussing drinks
Arthur was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and gene

Car just broke down
A priest and a nun are on their way back home from a trip when their car breaks

A minister tells a joke
A preacher, who shall we say was "humor impaired," attended a conferen

Closing sermon words
A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, &q

Minister gives sermon
The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved

A problem with teeth
This minister just had all of his remaining teeth pulled and new dentures were b

Try to help the people
A big, burly man visited the pastor's home and asked to see the minister�

The preacher is dying
An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his banker and his lawyer, both

Pastor painting church
It seems that there was a little old church out in the countryside: painted whit

Letters to the Pastor
The following are actual questions written to pastors from children across the w

After giving a sermon
The Baptist preacher just finished his sermon for the day and proceeded toward t

God granting miracles
A religious man is on top of a roof during a great flood. A man comes by in a bo

Lightning just struck
As Bill was approaching mid-life, physically he was a mess. Not only was he goin

Burglars just broke in
An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of religious serv

Truly incredible dog
This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equally fundame

Minister Billy Graham
The Reverend Billy Graham tells of a time early in his ministry when he arrived

At the construction job
There's this cathedral that's still being worked on, and the workers h

Question and answer
Biblical Questions and Answers

Q. Who was the greatest financieer i

Modern world morals
Two bishops were discussing the decline in morals in the modern world.

A sermon about lying
A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin

Bloopers of children
Some bloopers of biblical proportions written by Sunday School students of both

What's your religion?
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, abo

Highly religious horse
There's this guy who had been lost and walking in the desert for about 2 we

Microsoft gets church
MICROSOFT Bids to Acquire Catholic Church
By Hank Vorjes

VAT

Learning information
Pat and Mike were walking down the street, when they came to the church, Pat say

What has caused it?
A drunk man who smelled like a beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest.

Taxi driver in Heaven
A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pe

Seeing a child in need
One afternoon a little boy was playing outdoors. He used his mother's broom

History of a property
One of the best examples of how ridiculous government paperwork can be is illust

Question and answer
Q: Why do they say 'Amen' at the end of a prayer instead of 'Awom

What is God's name?
A Christian man had just died and was on his way to heaven. When he got to the g

Animals go to Heaven
A cat and a mouse died on the same day and went up to Heaven. At the top they me

Encountering a bear
A Baptist missionary was walking in Africa when he heard the ominous padding of

Worries about a risk
There is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on a cliff several hun

Religious One-Liners
Bumper Sticker:

If all else fails

read the instruction

Getting a Promotion
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned

Service for Your Dog
A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside except for a pet dog

New Office Supplies
The little church in the suburbs suddenly stopped buying from its regular office

College Exam Plea
O Lord, hear my anxious plea
Calculus is killing me
I know not of

Telling Some Stories
Delivering a speech at a banquet on the night of his arrival in a large city, a

Two Trouble Makers
A couple had two little mischievous boys, ages 8 and 10. They were always getti

What are the pictures?
A young lad was visiting a church for the first time, checking all the announcem

Satan vists the church
One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Jonestown wakes up early

Do you go to church?
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was s

Hide him during a war
It was about a month ago when a man in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess,

Overcrowded church
The two thousand member Baptist church was filled to overflowing capacity one Su

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