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Two students miss a final exam
Introductory Chemistry was taught at Duke University for many years by professor

Do you know who I am?
It was the final examination for an introductory Biology course at the local uni

Impossible final exams
Instructions: Read each question carefully. Answer all questions.
Time li

Physics disclaimers
As scientists and concerned citizens, we applaud the recent trend towards legisl

Making an effort to help a "lonely" child
Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. O

The technical geek test
Are you a tehcnical geek?

Do you have a problem with overdoing yo

The following are only learned from college
1. Quarters are like gold.

2. Be creative in the dining hall.

Fifty fun things to do during an exam
You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is mean

New scientific dictionary
Activation Energy: The useful quantity of energy available in one cup of coffee.

You might be a college student if . . .
1. If you have ever price shopped for Top Ramen, you might be a college student.

Fun things to do on the first day of class
This is for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you do any of the

Tip the pizza delivery boy
A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Larry Johnson. He delivered

Are you ready for college?
The below quiz will help you to determine if you are truly ready to attend colle

MIT course evaluation results
These are actual student evaulation comments taken from an MIT course evaluatio

Rules for apartment living
1. If someone calls while you are on the phone, do not answer the call waiting s

Terrible world history
The following is a "history" collected by teachers throughout the Uni

Would you please move your cars?
It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: "

History paper research on the Internet
Man: "How's your history paper coming?"

Woman: "

World history in a student's eyes
Here is a collection of freshman history bloopers collected by a Canadian histo

Why must we learn this?
One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-

The prayer said before finals
Now I Lay Me
Down to Study,
I Pray the Lord I
Won't Go

Looking back on photos
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade t

The homework schedule
Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. St

A boy writes home hinting that he needs money
Dear Father,

$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ an

You won't go to jail
A man who had been caught embezzling millions from his employer went to a lawyer

Ounces of brain for sale
A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sig

What type of tracks?
Two lawyers were out hunting when they came upon a couple of tracks. After close

Solving a dispute
Two little squirrels were walking along in the forest. The first one spied a nut

Lawyers take everything
A reporter outside of a courtroom asked a defendant clad only in a barrel: "

The devil's offer
The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. "I can arra

There are no honest lawyers
A lawyer named Impos Syble was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his s

What is two plus two?
An engineer, a physicist, and a lawyer were being interviewed for a position as

Who owns the cows?
After his graduation from college, the son of a Spanish lawyer was considering h

Leaving money for the dead
A Brooklyn lawyer, a used car salesman and a banker were gathered by a coffin co

I want to appeal a case
Lawyer: "Judge, I wish to appeal my client’s case on the basis of newly dis

Question and answer jokes
Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.

Question and answer jokes
Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A. A vampir

Question and answer jokes
Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?
A: Just two, all the rest are true.

Question and answer jokes
Q: What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in wet cement? A: Not en

Question and answer jokes
Q: When attorneys die, why do they bury them 600 feet underground?
A: Bec

Question and answer jokes
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A: Lawyers

Question and answer jokes
Q: How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus?
A: Never enough.

Question and answer jokes
Q: How can you tell a lawyer is lying?
A: Other lawyers look interested.<

Question and answer jokes
Q: What do you get if you put 100 lawyers in your basement?
A: A whine ce

Arguing effectively
How to Argue Effectively

I argue very well. Ask any of my remainin

From another planet
NO ZAMBODIANS, PLEASE: Judge Rules Out Prince Mongo's Costume

Japan is in trouble
Take heart, America. Three monkey wrenches have been thrown into Japan's w

What should they get?
Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her

Ask your question
One day at a trial, an eminent psychologist was called to testify. A severe, no-

Who handles cases?
Nugent needed legal advice, so he walked into the office of Gregory, Ellis and G

Tell the whole truth
`You seem to be in some distress,' said the kindly judge to the witness. `I

Get away with murder
Two prisoners are talking about their crimes:

George: "I robbe

Seashore with family
A doctor was vacationing at the seashore with his family.

Suddenl

Steal from lawyers
Jack and Mugs, two second-story men from Flatbush, were comparing notes on recen

Newest horror movie
Have you seen the current remake of the movie "Cape Fear?"

Short legal laughs
What are the three questions most commonly asked by lawyers?

1. How

Tell the whole truth
Mr. Dewey was briefing his client, who was about to testify in his own defense.<

Give him an orange
One day in Contract Law class, Professor Jepson asked one of his better students

Offer legal advice
Taylor was desperate for business, and was happy to be appointed by the court to

Helping a criminal
When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law before the criminal gets ar

Big ethical dilemma
Upon seeing an elderly lady for the drafting of her will, the attorney charged h

A cold winter night
Lorenzo Dow, an evangelist of the last century, was on a preaching tour when he

Drinking too much
A man sat down at a bar, looked into his shirt pocket, and ordered a double scot

Who would steal?
The two partners in a law firm were having lunch when suddenly one of them jumpe

Light bulb lawyers
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

A0: Three;

Stupid attorneys
A lawyer was on his cell phone, calling a locksmith.

"I locked

Burger joint conversations nationwide
M.I.T.: "I had a nervous breakdown this weekend."
"Have so

Spoofs on college names
In each of these examples, the actual name of the college is written first. Then

Terrible world history
The following is a "history" collected by teachers throughout the Uni

Fifty fun things to do during an exam
You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is mean

Fifty ways to add confusion to dining halls
by Robert Chen

You should not attempt any these things. The follo

Making an effort to help a "lonely" child
Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. O

Rules for apartment living
1. If someone calls while you are on the phone, do not answer the call waiting s

Are you ready for college?
The below quiz will help you to determine if you are truly ready to attend colle

I Could Use a Little Money
Dear Father,

$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ an

Fifty fun things for professors to do on the first day of class
1. Bring a CPR dummy to class and announce that it will be the teaching assistan

Would you please move your cars?
It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: "

The following are only learned from college
1. Quarters are like gold.

2. Be creative in the dining hall.

A lesson about blood flow and circulation
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make th

Looking back on photos
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade t

Picking on a tardy student
A college business professor could not help but notice that one of his students

Tip the pizza delivery boy
A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Larry Johnson. He delivered

Freshmen versus seniors
Freshman: Is never in bed past noon.
Senior: Is never out of bed befo

Physics disclaimers
As scientists and concerned citizens, we applaud the recent trend towards legisl

Tips to improve your writing
1. Avoid alliteration. Always.

2. Never use a long word when a dimi

Actual misphrased excerpts from student science exam papers
Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the organ of the species.

Fun things to do on the first day of class
This is for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you do any of the

The technical geek test
Are you a tehcnical geek?

Do you have a problem with overdoing yo

199 ways to confuse a roommate
These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you

Impossible final exams
Instructions: Read each question carefully. Answer all questions.
Time li

World history in a student's eyes
Here is a collection of freshman history bloopers collected by a Canadian histo

New scientific dictionary
Activation Energy: The useful quantity of energy available in one cup of coffee.

A new professor's diary
Jan 3rd, 1995
I have long heard of the lives of the privileged classes,

The homework schedule
Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. St

MIT course evaluation results
These are actual student evaulation comments taken from an MIT course evaluatio

A lecture about English
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In Eng

A bribe for your professor
A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of

Why must we learn this?
One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-

A student's request for extra money
A student called up his Mom one evening from his college and asked her for some

Writing home with ease
Dear Parent(s), Date:

I am too busy to write, but this checklist

Two students miss a final exam
Introductory Chemistry was taught at Duke University for many years by professor

You might be a college student if . . .
1. If you have ever price shopped for Top Ramen, you might be a college student.

The prayer said before finals
Now I Lay Me
Down to Study,
I Pray the Lord I
Won't Go

I will do anything to pass
A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the h

The universal grade change form
To: Professor _______________
From: ____________________

I

History paper research on the Internet
Man: "How's your history paper coming?"

Woman: "

Do you know who I am?
It was the final examination for an introductory Biology course at the local uni

A parent's terrors of life
Dear Mother and Dad:

It has now been three months since I left fo

Great School Humor
"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I

Newest Discovery
By R. J. Heathorn (* PUNCH, May 9, 1962)

A new aid to rapid--almost

Philosophy Exam
(True story)

A college student in a philosophy class was taking his

Kids' Perspective
Kids' Views on School

A little girl had just finished her fi

Student Proverbs
A FIRST GRADE TEACHER collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each child i

Math Problems
Young Larry stopped by the corner grocery store and read the following list to t

College Writing
A visitor to a certain college paused to admire the new Hemingway Hall that had

Geography Class
Teacher: What is the axis of the earth?

Student: The axis of the ea

Public Speaking
Recently our speaker had to discontinue several of his long talks on account of

College Prayers
O Lord, hear my anxious plea

Calculus is killing me

I

Discussing Grades
A high-school student came home from school seeming rather depressed.

Sweep the Floor
Your first job will be to sweep the floor.

But I'm a college s

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